Thursday, November 21, 2013
My life hasn't always been easy as everyone thinks. People always say I have the perfect life and everything. No they are wrong what they don't see is the hurt that I felt from the 6th grade until now. My names Kaili and this is my story. It all started in the 6th grade I would get picked on and everything but it didn't bother me then. I knew it was normal for a teenager to be bullied at some point in their life. This continued and followed me all through middle school and I kept pushing it away like it was nothing. Then my 8th grade year I lost my support system. My grandmother had passed away on my birthday. I didn't know what to say. She was everything that had held me together. I mourned her death for years and still do but that's not the point. The point is I missed about a week of school and when I came back the bulling had gotten worse. I didn't know what to do. I was always hurting. This is about the time I started to write poetry. Not the sweet kind either. These were suicide poems. At first they were ok then they started to get worse as the bulling got worse. After a while though things got a little better I got my first real boyfriend and things were going back to normal and everyone thought I was a happy teenager again. They were wrong. I was still being bullied but I kept it bottled up inside. I didn't want people to know I was hurting, so I hid it from everyone. This only made things worse for me. I became more sensitive to the bullying. Finally, I reached my first breaking point I started to cut myself. They wouldn't be bad or noticeable but they were there. As the bullying got worse and the hurt I felt got worse though I started to cut more and more. Eventually my body was covered in scars. My parents found out but they didn't do anything about it. This is when I knew I was alone. I was alone in a world of hurt and had no where to go. This is when I turned into a bully. I started to pick on my best friend. Next thing I knew the bullying followed me everywhere I was no longer the bully, everyone around me was. Everyone turned on me and pushed me to the point to where I felt useless. Later I started to be cyber bullied. This was my limit I wrote a suicide letter and was ready to follow thorough with it, then something stopped me. To this day I don't know what it was. But I changed schools and things got better. There is hope. Don't give up and don't let it beat you down. Stand up for yourself and those around you.